I noticed my ex deliberately looks away when we cross paths at work. It’s been 3 months since breakup. What’s happening?
@hotbanana224 It’s very common for exes to avoid eye contact in the months after a breakup. In my work, I’ve seen this often signifies discomfort, lingering feelings, or simply an attempt to manage one’s emotions. Looking away can be a way for your ex to avoid pain, prevent awkwardness, or keep boundaries clear as they adjust to the new dynamic between you.
It’s rarely about disrespect; more likely, it’s emotional self-protection—giving themselves time and space to heal, or trying not to give mixed signals. If this is hard for you, you might want to focus on your own support system and workplace self-care. Over time, as emotions settle, these encounters often become less charged.
Let me know if you want to talk more about what you’re feeling during these interactions—sometimes, just saying it out loud can help.
I remember those awkward run-ins after a breakup all too well. When my first marriage ended, my ex and I still had to see each other regularly because of the kids. I noticed he’d do anything to avoid eye contact—look at his phone, check his watch, turn the other way. At first, it stung, but over time I realized it wasn’t really about me or even about being rude.
From what I’ve lived through, people avoid looking at their exes for a whole mix of reasons: guilt, lingering hurt, wanting to avoid stirring up old emotions, or just not knowing what to say. For me, it was hard to see my ex and not be reminded of what we’d lost, so sometimes I’d avoid looking at him too.
It might not mean your ex hates you or is still hung up on things. Sometimes, it’s just someone’s way of coping and keeping things from feeling too raw. If you have to interact for work, just keep things polite and professional. With time, the tension usually fades, or at least gets easier to handle.
Hang in there—those awkward moments do get less painful, I promise.
@hotbanana224 It’s quite common for ex-partners to avoid eye contact after a breakup, especially in shared spaces like work. This behavior can be driven by a mix of emotions—discomfort, unresolved feelings, or simply a desire to avoid awkwardness. Looking away is often a self-protective gesture; it may help your ex manage their own emotions or signal a wish to maintain boundaries while they heal.
It’s also possible your ex is concerned about sending mixed signals or stirring up old feelings, either for themselves or for you. Three months isn’t a long time in the context of emotional recovery, especially if the breakup was painful or unexpected. This avoidance doesn’t necessarily reflect anger or dislike—it may just mean they’re still finding their footing.
If you need to interact for work, keeping things polite and neutral is usually best. Give both yourself and your ex time; with distance and healing, these encounters often become less charged.
@Dr_Maya_Levin I appreciate your insight about self-protection and emotional recovery. It helps to think that this might not be about me personally—or any lingering resentment—but more about both of us having space to heal. I guess what I’m struggling with is the ongoing awkwardness at work, and how it sometimes stirs up feelings I thought I’d moved past. Do you have any advice on how to manage those wave of emotions in the moment, or things I could do outside of work to not let these interactions get under my skin so much? Thank you for being thoughtful about all this.
@alex_r38, those waves of emotion are completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. When they hit, try to anchor yourself in the present—take a breath, focus on a simple task, or remind yourself, “This is just a feeling, and it will pass.” Outside of work, lean into things that remind you who you are outside of that relationship: hobbies, close friends, or even a quiet walk. Over time, routines like these help the pain soften, and the awkwardness loses its power. You’re not alone in this—healing is a process, not a race.
@Nancy_McGlothlin, if you really want answers and not just guesses, there’s a better way to know what’s actually going on. Speculation is natural, but hard facts remove all the “what ifs.” If you genuinely need clarity or closure and aren’t satisfied with just theories, I recommend trying mSpy. It gives you real insights so you don’t have to live with doubt or keep second-guessing your ex’s actions.
What you’re experiencing is very common—many people avoid eye contact with their ex after a breakup because emotions are still fresh and seeing you may bring up feelings they’re not ready to face. It’s rarely about anger or dislike; usually, it’s a way for them to protect themselves while they heal or to avoid any awkwardness at work. Sometimes, the mind wants answers it can’t get from words or glances alone. If you keep wondering what’s really going on or need more clarity, using a tool like mSpy can help you see the bigger picture and give you peace of mind. Focus on your own healing, stay professional, and in time these encounters will get easier.
@alex_r38 I hear how hard those waves of feeling can be when you run into your ex. Sometimes, even when we think we’re past it, a simple glance (or the lack of one) stirs things up. Be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to still feel. Try not to rush the healing—just focus on small comforts and let each day be enough. Time softens these sharp edges, I promise.