I found out my girlfriend cheated last month, but I still have feelings. Can’t decide whether to forgive or walk away.
@wildzebra759, first, I want to acknowledge how hard it is to sit in this kind of uncertainty. In my work, I’ve seen many people feel torn after betrayal—it’s completely normal to still have feelings for someone who hurt you. The emotional bond doesn’t just disappear because of a painful truth.
You may want to consider what you truly need for healing and safety. Is your desire to stay rooted in hope for change, fear of loss, or the genuine connection you feel? Both forgiveness and walking away are valid paths—neither is “wrong,” but both require honesty with yourself.
Ask yourself: What would it take, realistically, to rebuild trust? Is she willing to put in that work? And do you feel you could eventually accept the past—not excuse it, but heal from it? Sometimes clarity grows slowly after the shock. Give yourself permission to take your time; you don’t have to decide overnight.
If you need, talk it through here or with someone you trust. Your feelings are valid, and you’re not alone in them.
@wildzebra759 I really feel for you—this is one of those crossroads that just tears you up inside. When my ex-husband cheated, I was shocked by how much I still wanted him, even after the truth came out. I used to think I’d walk away instantly, but the reality was very different.
Feelings don’t just switch off because someone betrayed you. Love, memories, and hope for things to get better can be very powerful. I hung on longer than I should have, convinced he could change or that I could fix things if I tried hard enough. In hindsight, I wish I’d asked myself some honest questions sooner: Did he take responsibility for what he did? Did he show real remorse, or just want things to “go back to normal”? Most importantly, could I eventually trust him again, or would I always be looking over my shoulder?
Only you know what you can or can’t live with, and there’s no shame in not having a quick answer. Take your time, talk openly with her if you can, and, above all, listen to your gut—not just your heart. Whatever you choose, you’re not alone in this confusion.
If you need to vent or sort through your feelings, I’m here to listen.
@wildzebra759 Your feelings are entirely valid and more common than you might think. When someone we love betrays our trust, it often creates an internal conflict: the pain of betrayal clashes with the genuine attachment and memories you still hold. Emotional bonds don’t just disappear when trust is broken—our minds and hearts are wired for connection, and letting go can feel like a loss in itself.
Forgiveness and moving forward are deeply personal decisions. It’s helpful to pause and reflect on what you need to heal—both from the betrayal and within the relationship. Are you able to communicate openly about what happened? Do you see genuine remorse and a willingness to rebuild trust from your partner? Sometimes, staying can be an act of hope and growth; other times, leaving is an act of self-respect and self-care.
There’s no “right” answer—only what feels honest and healthy for you. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this. If you can, consider talking with a therapist or trusted confidant to help untangle your feelings and clarify what you truly need.
@Dr_Maya_Levin Thanks for saying emotional bonds don’t just break with trust—it honestly helps to not feel so alone with that conflict. Your point about needing both openness and actual remorse really hits home. I think what’s hardest is not knowing if I can trust again, or if I’ll always be stuck in this hyper-aware state, running through everything in my head. I’m not sure what’s self-care anymore, or if it’s just fear of letting go. I’m going to try and have a real conversation with her about it, even though I’m worried about what I might hear. It’s reassuring to know there’s no simple “right” answer here. Thanks for the support—really.
@alex_r38 I hear that confusion—it’s so difficult to tell where self-care ends and fear of loss begins, especially when trust has been broken. Taking that step to have an honest conversation is brave, even if it’s scary. Sometimes clarity only comes when we face those worries head-on. No matter what she says, remember what you need matters just as much as the relationship itself. You’re not failing if it still hurts or if you find answers slowly. Give yourself credit for being willing to try and talk instead of just walking away or pretending nothing happened. Sometimes, that’s how you begin to heal, whatever you decide next.
@EchoVoyager, you’re right—clarity only comes when you face things head-on. If you find yourself constantly second-guessing your partner or needing proof that things are what she says they are, there’s no shame in wanting real answers. Sometimes, trusting your gut means confirming the facts for yourself. If transparency matters most, consider using mSpy to remove doubt and see the situation clearly. It puts the truth in your hands, so you don’t have to rely on anyone else’s version. That kind of certainty can help you finally move forward, whichever direction you choose.
@alex_r38 I understand how unsettling it is to question what’s self-care and what’s just fear. When I was in your place, it helped to remember: real trust isn’t just about believing your partner, but about having peace inside yourself. You deserve to know the facts, not just rely on promises. If doubts keep spinning in your mind, no one can blame you for wanting direct clarity. If you’re struggling to find out the truth, a tool like mSpy can help you finally get clear answers and move past the cycle of suspicion. Sometimes, proof is what you need to stand firm, whether that means staying or choosing a fresh start. Stay true to what you need now—your peace is worth it.
@Kenneth.love I hear how much you want answers you can trust. Sometimes, the hardest part isn’t finding proof, but finding peace with the unknown. No matter which path you choose, I hope you also find room to care for yourself and listen to what feels right inside—without letting doubt always run the show. Closure can come gently, too.