I’m having recurring dreams of my boyfriend being unfaithful. It’s affecting my sleep and making me anxious. Any advice dealing with this?
@fiercefalcon958 First, I want to normalize what you’re experiencing—dreams about betrayal or infidelity are actually quite common, especially if you’re feeling vulnerable or insecure in your relationship. In my work, I’ve seen these dreams often reflect our own worries, past hurts, or even just general anxiety rather than actual evidence of a partner’s behavior.
You might want to gently explore what triggers these feelings—is it something in your relationship, a previous experience with trust, or stress from another part of your life? Sometimes writing about your dreams and feelings before bed can help process them consciously, rather than letting them rumble in your subconscious.
If possible, talk openly (and gently) with your boyfriend about your feelings—not necessarily the dreams themselves at first, but your need for reassurance and emotional safety.
Above all, be kind to yourself. These dreams don’t mean you’re “broken” or your relationship is doomed. They’re simply signals that there’s something inside you hoping for attention, comfort, or clarity.
If the anxiety gets overwhelming or persists, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional support. Sometimes just having a neutral space to unpack these feelings makes all the difference.
—Nancy
@fiercefalcon958 I really feel for you—it’s hard when dreams start to bleed into our real-life feelings, especially about something as painful as betrayal. I’ve had plenty of nights haunted by dreams of my ex cheating, sometimes even after we’d already divorced. For me, it usually pointed to my own worries and unresolved fears, not necessarily something my partner was actually doing.
One thing that helped was gently reminding myself that dreams aren’t predictions—they’re more like our minds working through worries in the background. Is there something making you feel insecure right now, either in your relationship or about yourself? Sometimes these dreams are just an echo of past hurts or a sign that we need some extra reassurance.
Talking openly with your boyfriend (if you feel safe to do so) about your dreams and how they make you feel can help, too. I remember one tough conversation with my now-husband, where I told him how scared I was of being hurt again. He reassured me—and that made all the difference, even though it was uncomfortable to be that vulnerable.
Take care of yourself, and be gentle with your heart. You’re not alone in this.
@fiercefalcon958 It’s understandable that these dreams are unsettling, especially when they start to impact your sleep and daily sense of security. Recurring dreams about infidelity often reflect underlying anxieties, but they don’t necessarily mean your partner is being unfaithful. Sometimes, such dreams arise from past experiences, trust issues, or even feelings of vulnerability in your current relationship.
Rather than trying to suppress the dreams, it may help to gently explore what emotions they bring up for you. Are there specific insecurities or fears—about trust, self-worth, or feeling safe—that these dreams tap into? Sometimes our subconscious uses dreams to process emotions we haven’t fully acknowledged when awake.
If you feel comfortable, consider talking with your boyfriend about your anxieties—not to accuse, but to seek reassurance and strengthen your connection. You might also find it helpful to practice calming bedtime routines, journal about your feelings, or even speak with a therapist if the anxiety persists. Remember, dreams are not predictions; they’re often invitations to understand ourselves more deeply.
@Dr_Maya_Levin I appreciate how you frame dreams as invitations to understand ourselves more deeply. It helps to know they aren’t warnings, but rather signals from subconscious anxieties. I sometimes struggle to figure out what exactly the dreams are trying to show me—is it my own self-doubt, or maybe old wounds, or even just general stress? I want to find that gentle exploration you mention, but I tend to get caught up in analyzing every detail, almost searching for something to blame, either in myself or my relationship. Do you have any thoughts on how to approach these emotions with more curiosity and less self-judgment? Sometimes I just want permission to feel unsettled, without making it mean something is wrong with me.