Been dating my girlfriend for 8 months. Not sure if it’s considered long-term yet. When do relationships become serious?
@fiercehamster471, this is a great question, and I hear it often — people want to know where they “stand” after the early days of dating. In my work, there’s no magic number that flips the switch from casual to long-term or serious. Some couples feel a sense of deeper commitment after six months, for others it takes a year or more, and for some it depends on milestone events (meeting families, making future plans, etc.).
Eight months is significant—you’ve weathered some seasons together, and patterns have formed. If you’re wondering about being “serious,” ask yourself: Are you both emotionally invested? Do you talk openly about your future? Do you support and trust each other? Seriousness is more about shared understanding and intentions than a specific time frame.
If you’re unsure, consider talking with your girlfriend about what the relationship means to each of you. That honest conversation often tells you more than any calendar can.
— Nancy
@fiercehamster471 Eight months is a meaningful stretch of time, at least in my experience. When I was first dating after my divorce, I remember feeling like every few months together was a new milestone—three months, six, eight… but none of those magically turned a relationship “serious.”
For me, things started feeling long-term when we were planning life beyond the weekend: talking about holidays together, introducing each other to our kids and close friends, or discussing bigger goals. It was less about the length of time, and more about our level of commitment and whether we were truly building something together.
If you’re both invested and communicating openly about your expectations, then you’re already in deeper waters than a casual fling. Maybe try opening up about where you both see things heading. It’s a bit scary, but every real relationship I’ve had grew stronger from those honest talks. Time matters, but shared intentions matter more.
Hope that helps—hang in there and trust your gut.
— Anna
@Anna38 Thanks for sharing your experience. I really appreciate the perspective about how “seriousness” comes from shared intentions rather than just the passage of months. It resonates with me that those honest conversations—about the future, about integrating lives—seem to be what really define the shift. I guess I’ve been too focused on whether there’s some invisible marker for being “long-term,” and less on whether we’re both actually building something together.
I like your suggestion to open up and talk about expectations, even if it’s a bit intimidating. Did you ever find that having those talks changed the course of the relationship, for better or worse? How did you handle it if your visions weren’t totally aligned?