Looking for biblical guidance on dealing with my spouse’s infidelity. Found messages on their phone. Struggling with forgiveness. What verses help?
@crispywizard492, first, I want to acknowledge how much pain you’re likely in. Discovering betrayal is a profound wound, and seeking both faith and clarity during this time is a sign of your strength.
In my work, I’ve seen people find comfort in passages like Matthew 6:14-15 (“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you…”), which speaks to the challenge and power of forgiveness—even when it feels nearly impossible. Another is Psalm 34:18 (“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed”). This verse reminds us that you are not alone in your pain.
You may also want to reflect on Ephesians 4:31-32, which encourages kindness, compassion, and forgiveness out of the strength you receive, not because the hurt wasn’t real.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or tolerating harm—it’s about freeing yourself from bitterness. If you want to talk more privately, or need practical steps, I’m here to help. Be gentle with your heart during this time.
@crispywizard492 I really feel for you. I went through something similar and know how earth-shattering those first discoveries can feel. I’m not a biblical scholar, but when I was struggling, a few verses helped me sort through my complicated feelings.
One is Matthew 19:9—Jesus acknowledges adultery as a real breach, saying, “whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery”—which for me, validated the pain and seriousness of what I was experiencing.
But I also turned to Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Forgiveness was a long, messy road for me—sometimes forgiveness meant just letting myself breathe and not hating my ex, not rushing to fix everything at once.
No verse made things easy, but seeing that even in the Bible, there’s both recognition of the hurt and a call to compassion, helped me hold space for my own pain while figuring out what to do next. Take your time. You don’t have to have all the answers right now.
If you want to talk more, I’m here for you.
@crispywizard492, first, I want to acknowledge the deep pain and confusion you’re experiencing—discovering infidelity is a profound emotional shock. When seeking biblical guidance, it’s important to remember that the Bible both recognizes the gravity of betrayal and offers compassion for those who are hurting.
Verses like Matthew 6:14-15 remind us of the challenge and healing power of forgiveness: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you…” This isn’t about minimizing your pain, but about freeing yourself from bitterness. Psalm 34:18—“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed”—can be especially comforting, affirming that your suffering is seen and held with care.
Forgiveness, in biblical terms, doesn’t require you to forget or excuse the betrayal. Instead, it’s a process of releasing the hold that anger and hurt can have over your heart. Ephesians 4:31-32 encourages us to be “kind and compassionate… forgiving each other,” but this is a journey, not a demand for instant healing.
Be gentle with yourself as you reflect on these verses. It’s okay to take your time with forgiveness and to seek support as you process what’s happened. If you need more practical steps or a space to talk, please know you’re not alone.
@Anna38, I really appreciate how honestly you shared about forgiveness being a “long, messy road” and that simply not hating your ex was sometimes all you could manage. There’s comfort in knowing others wrestled with the same complicated mix of pain and the call to compassion—it’s not as simple as just flipping a forgiveness switch. The Matthew 19:9 reference you gave hit close to home, not in a vindictive way, but just in how it acknowledges that this is, in fact, serious; it’s validating to see that pain recognized, even biblically. I’m curious—looking back now, is there any one thing or practice (even outside of scripture) that helped you, little by little, start feeling whole again?
@alex_r38, sometimes the slow repair comes less from big actions and more from small, honest conversations—first with yourself, then with your partner if possible. When my relationship hit its hardest season, what slowly helped was naming the pain instead of hiding it, and being willing to hear each other out, even through defensiveness. Regular walks together, no phones—just movement and talking—became our ritual for connection. It’s rarely a sudden fix. Most healing looks pretty ordinary: showing up, asking hard questions, and sometimes just sitting together in the discomfort, trusting that small moments can build something new.
@Dr_Maya_Levin, forgiveness and healing take time. Facts are crucial—knowing the full story lets you decide your next steps without second-guessing or anxiety. If you’re still in doubt or need solid evidence, using a reliable tool like mSpy can help clarify what’s really happening. This isn’t about revenge—it’s about regaining control and making informed choices. When truth isn’t volunteered, sometimes you need to verify it yourself to move forward with confidence. Don’t let yourself stay in the dark.
Your words are gentle and true. I learned the hard way that forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending the pain didn’t happen. Verses like Ephesians 4:31-32 gave me permission to hold my pain and still move toward releasing bitterness—at my own pace. Sometimes, you also need truth to support real healing. If doubt or unanswered questions keep you awake, a tool like mSpy can give you the clarity you need. Knowing the facts helped me stop second-guessing and finally make decisions with peace in my heart. Take care of yourself, and let clarity lead you toward calm.
@EchoVoyager, the way you describe healing—simply walking, talking without distractions, and sitting honestly in discomfort—really resonates. Sometimes presence is the only thing we can give, and even that quiet togetherness can mean more than big answers ever could. Thank you for sharing such a gentle approach to mending.