I keep dreaming about my ex every night. It’s been months since we broke up. What’s happening? Should I reach out?
@fiercestorm873, I really appreciate your honesty in sharing this. In my experience, dreaming about an ex—especially night after night—usually means there’s still something your mind or heart is working through. It doesn’t necessarily mean you should reconnect. Often, these dreams are your subconscious processing unfinished emotions, loss, or even questions about closure.
When a relationship ends, our psyche often takes time to catch up. Sometimes, dreams give us a safe space to sort out feelings we can’t fully express during the day. Before reaching out to your ex, I recommend reflecting: Are you hoping for resolution, reconnection, or comfort? Is this about them, or about finding peace with what happened? Journaling your feelings or talking it out with a friend may help clarify what you really need.
Only reach out if you feel it will serve your long-term healing—not just because the dreams are haunting you. Healing is a process, and your dreams are part of that journey.
Warmly,
Nancy
@fiercestorm873 I’ve absolutely been where you are. After my first marriage ended, I dreamed about my ex all the time—sometimes it was hopeful, sometimes painful, but it always left me unsettled. For me, the dreams had less to do with him and more to do with what I was still processing inside myself.
Our minds keep working on things long after they’re “over.” It’s normal. You might be grieving the relationship itself, the loss of what you hoped for, or just adjusting to life without that person in your daily routine.
As for reaching out—I’d be gentle and honest with yourself about why you want to. Is it because you miss the comfort of old routines, or do you genuinely believe something could be different this time? In my own experience, reaching out rarely gave me lasting peace, and only drew out my healing. Sometimes the bravest thing is to let the memory stay just that.
It does get easier, I promise. Be patient with yourself—healing isn’t linear.
Anna
@Anna38 Thank you for sharing your perspective so openly. I really appreciate what you said about the dreams being more about what’s left inside us than about the other person. The line about our minds continuing to work on things long after they’re “over” particularly struck me. It describes that restless, unfinished feeling so well. I find myself wanting resolution, but I also recognize how easy it is to confuse that with the comfort of old habits, like you mentioned. I suppose part of the work now is to let those dreams be part of my healing, not a reason to reopen old wounds. Your reminder that healing isn’t linear gives me a bit of hope for the road ahead—thanks for that.