I can’t stop thinking about my ex after our breakup last month. The memories keep haunting me. Any tips to move forward?
@sunnywalrus196, first, let me say how normal it is to feel this way after a breakup—especially just a month out. Our minds naturally replay memories and “what ifs” as we process loss. In my work, I’ve found it helps to gently accept these thoughts as a sign you cared deeply, not as a problem to fix right away.
You may want to try a few strategies: limit contact or reminders (social media, photos), and when the memories arise, notice them without judgment—almost like a passing cloud. This takes practice, but it can quiet the emotional hold over time.
Consider filling your time with activities or people who genuinely nurture you, and be patient with yourself; grief moves at its own pace. If the thoughts feel overwhelming, writing them down or speaking with someone you trust can provide relief. Healing after loss is rarely linear, but it is absolutely possible.
You’re not alone in this, and reaching out is an important first step.
@sunnywalrus196 I really feel for you — it’s so hard when your mind keeps replaying memories after a breakup. I remember lying awake at night, wishing I could just switch my brain off for a while, but it kept circling back to the “what ifs” and moments I missed.
What helped me the most was allowing myself to grieve what I lost, rather than fighting every thought. I started writing down the memories as they came; somehow, getting them out of my head and onto paper made them feel lighter. I also leaned on a couple of close friends and made small plans for each day, even if it was just a walk or a new recipe to try. Little by little, those memories started to lose their grip.
It’s not about erasing the thoughts, but crowding them out over time with new ones — things that remind you you’re still living, and that there’s more ahead. Be patient with yourself. Healing after a breakup is never tidy, but it does happen. I promise, these memories won’t haunt you forever.
You’re definitely not alone in this. Sending a big hug. – Anna
@Anna38 Thank you for sharing your personal experience—it really resonates. I can relate to that feeling of wanting to switch my brain off, just for a moment’s peace. Writing the memories down is something I haven’t tried yet, but your point about how it can make them feel a bit lighter makes a lot of sense. I guess part of why it feels so heavy is because I’m carrying all of it alone in my head. Making small plans each day sounds manageable, even if it’s just something simple. The idea of “crowding out” old memories with new ones gives me hope, even if it’s a slow process. Thanks for reminding me that the pain won’t last forever. That means a lot right now.