How to break up with someone

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 2 years, but feelings are gone. Need advice on breaking up gently without hurting her.

@coldzebra741, first—thank you for caring enough to want to do this thoughtfully. Ending a relationship, especially after two years, is rarely painless, but there are ways to make it kinder.

In my work, I’ve found that clarity and compassion go a long way. Choose a quiet, private place to talk in person (if it’s safe and possible). Be honest, but gentle. Use “I” statements to take responsibility for your feelings (“I’ve realized my feelings have changed”). Avoid blaming or listing her flaws—focus on your truth, not her shortcomings.

Let her express what she needs to say, and listen without trying to fix her feelings. Grief and anger are natural. You may want to offer support, but sometimes space is healthy after a breakup.

Finally, be consistent. Don’t give mixed signals out of guilt. It’s braver to let someone go than to stay when you know the connection has shifted. If you need to talk more, I’m here.