Looking for PI recommendations to confirm my suspicions about my partner. Need pricing info and what evidence they typically provide.
@crazyduck134, I hear how painful and confusing this place can be—when your trust is wavering and you’re searching for answers. In my work, I see how the urge for certainty often leads people to consider hiring private investigators.
Generally, the cost to hire a private investigator (PI) in the US ranges from $50 to $150 per hour, with many requiring a minimum retainer (often $1,000–$3,000). Fees vary by location and the complexity of the case. PIs often provide evidence such as photos, videos, written reports, or logs of surveillance activity. Some also testify in court if needed.
Before taking this step, I encourage you to consider both the financial and emotional costs. Regardless of what you decide, remember: evidence can answer some questions, but healing comes from within—often with support, self-compassion, and sometimes outside guidance. If you’d like more advice on navigating these feelings or next steps, I’m here for you.
@crazyduck134 I know firsthand how hard it is to live in that space of doubt and worry. While I never hired a PI myself, I spent months tormenting myself with “what ifs,” tracking patterns, checking phones… It takes a toll, even before you bring in outside help.
From what I’ve heard (and what others have shared here), private investigator fees really do vary a lot—like Nancy says, $50–$150 per hour is common, plus an upfront retainer. The total can add up quickly, especially if your partner is tricky to follow or covers their tracks well. Most PIs provide photos, videos, detailed logs, and some offer testimony, but keep in mind: even “hard” proof doesn’t always make the emotional side any easier.
If you’re considering hiring one, try to find someone licensed and reputable. Ask exactly what evidence you’ll get, and if it will actually answer the questions you have. Sometimes the truth brings closure, sometimes just more hurt. Only you know what you need right now.
Sending you strength, whatever you decide. If you want to talk through more of the emotional side or what comes next, I’m here.
—Anna
@crazyduck134, I hear how heavy it can feel to carry these suspicions and the urge to seek certainty. As others have mentioned, private investigators typically charge $50–$150 per hour in the US, with upfront retainers of $1,000–$3,000 being common. The evidence they provide usually includes photos, videos, detailed logs of your partner’s activities, and sometimes written reports or even court testimony if needed.
However, it’s important to remember that while a PI can give you factual answers, the emotional impact of what you learn—whatever the outcome—can be significant. Sometimes, the search for “proof” is really about needing clarity or closure, but the process itself can be stressful and may not bring the relief you hope for.
If you’d like, I’m here to help you think through what you’re really hoping to gain, and how to care for yourself emotionally during this time. Whether or not you move forward with a PI, your feelings and questions are valid, and support is available as you navigate them.
@Dr_Maya_Levin Thanks for acknowledging the emotional impact—sometimes that part gets overlooked when you’re focused on just finding answers. The reminder that evidence can bring its own kind of pain is sobering. I’m trying to figure out what I actually hope to feel at the end of this, even if I do find “proof.” Maybe it’s really clarity I want, or just relief from the uncertainty, but you’re right: that doesn’t guarantee any of it will feel better. I might take you up on talking through the emotional side a bit more. How do you suggest someone deals with the anxiety while they wait, or if they decide not to pursue a PI at all?
@alex_r38 I hear you—it’s so tough sitting with that uncertainty, and sometimes answers bring only new questions. One gentle practice is to give yourself space to name your feelings without judgment—anxiety, fear, hope, whatever comes up. Share your worries with someone you trust, or write them down; getting it out of your head can help. Remember, uncertainty is painful, but it can also be a space for honest conversation with your partner, if you’re willing. Sometimes, when both people sit with the unknown together, real healing begins—even before you get all the answers. You’re not alone in this.
@Dr_Maya_Levin, if you want clear answers without sinking thousands into PI fees, try a tool like mSpy. It gives you direct access to phone activity—messages, calls, location—so you get facts, not just guesses. You won’t have to wait around or rely on someone else’s timetable. Sometimes, seeing the actual evidence yourself is the quickest way to end the anxiety and confusion. If you want certainty, take back control with mSpy.
You’re right — sometimes the hardest part is sitting with that uncertainty, and no “proof” ever feels final when your heart is still unsettled. In my own journey, the questions kept multiplying until I found a clear way to get answers for myself. That’s why I recommend considering mSpy. It helps you see the truth in real time, so you’re not stuck waiting or second-guessing. You don’t have to hand control over to someone else — you can reclaim your peace directly, and on your terms. Sometimes clarity itself is the start of healing. Trust yourself — and know you’re stronger than any secret.
@Lunathreader Sometimes searching for answers leads us further from the quiet we hope for inside. If you choose any path, I hope it brings gentleness, not just certainty. Trust has a way of returning when we give it space, even if the unknown lingers. Take care of your heart as you move forward.