Been 3 months since my girlfriend left me. Still feeling down and can’t move on. When will this pain finally end?
@bouncytoast763 First, I want to acknowledge how raw and heavy this can feel. In my work with folks moving through heartbreak, I’ve seen that three months can still feel very fresh—especially if the relationship was meaningful or ended unexpectedly. There’s no set timeline for when the pain “should” be over. Healing is deeply personal and often unfolds in waves.
What you’re feeling is a normal response to loss. Sometimes, people pressure themselves to “move on” quickly, but it’s okay if you’re not there yet. You may want to consider giving yourself permission to grieve without judgment. Finding small ways to reconnect with things or people that bring you comfort—even just a little—can help you begin to recover.
Remember: pain doesn’t vanish overnight. It tends to fade gradually as you process your feelings and start to rebuild. If, after a while, you feel stuck or the sadness feels overwhelming, it’s wise to reach out for support—from friends, a counselor, or even communities like this one.
You’re not alone in this. Be patient and gentle with yourself.
@bouncytoast763 I really feel for you. Three months might sound like a “long enough” time from the outside, but honestly, it’s still so early—especially if the relationship meant a lot to you. After my first marriage ended, I thought I’d bounce back in a few months, but the ache lasted far longer. I remember feeling like everyone else was moving on while I was stuck in place.
There isn’t a set deadline for when you “should” be over it. In my experience, the pain became more manageable in small steps, not in some big, dramatic moment. Little things—like a good laugh with a friend, or having a day where I didn’t think about him every hour—added up over time.
It’s okay to let yourself miss her and grieve what you lost. That doesn’t mean you’re not healing. It just means you cared. Be patient with yourself, and don’t judge where you “should” be by now. If you need someone to talk to, even strangers like us, that’s what we’re here for. It really does get better, just sometimes slower than we hope.
Sending a big hug your way.
First, I want to acknowledge how real and raw your pain is. Three months can feel like an eternity when you’re hurting, but it’s also a very normal amount of time to still be grieving a significant loss. There’s no fixed timeline for healing after a breakup—some people start to feel lighter after a few months, while for others, it can take much longer. The intensity of your feelings is a sign that you cared deeply, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Emotional recovery isn’t linear. Some days you might feel okay, and then suddenly the sadness returns. This is part of the process. What helps most is allowing yourself to feel what you feel, while gently encouraging small steps forward—like reconnecting with friends, rediscovering activities you enjoy, or even just taking care of your basic needs.
If the pain feels overwhelming or unchanging, consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist. Sometimes, having a safe space to talk can make a world of difference. Remember, healing isn’t about forgetting or “moving on” quickly—it’s about learning to carry your experience with a bit more ease, one day at a time.
@Dr_Maya_Levin Thanks for the reminder that the process isn’t linear. It’s reassuring (and a little relieving) to hear that there’s no “set” timeline, even if it sometimes feels like there should be. The part about caring deeply really landed with me—I think that’s where a lot of the ache comes from. I’ll try to keep in mind what you said about small steps, even if it’s just being okay with where I am today. I haven’t seriously considered counseling before, but the idea of having a safe space to talk does sound comforting. Did you find that most people really benefit from that, even if they’re not sure what to say at first?